Monday, September 19, 2011

When

8 months ago I thought...finally my life will be my own.  In 8 months I grew a killer garden, took Reiki classes, got to a happy place and still my life is not my own.  You would think a 17 year old would be more independent then she was at 2.  Not the case....every morning its the same routine.  She is late, cant find what she is looking for, her hair will not act right and of course she needs money or something signed.  So every morning she is in my room rummaging through my belongings to compensate for the fact that she cant find anything in her own room.  I thought this year would be easy now that she has her own car....there should be no need for me to wake up with her at the crack of dawn....long gone are the days of driving her to school or standing at the bus stop in the rain.  But still my life is not my own.  Even sleeping on my own schedule is not achievable.  So my next thought is that in 11 months she will be 18....then what....in a logical world one would assume that my job is done...after all, since she was 12 she has been telling me she is grown and I should give her space.  "Why do I have to ask?"  "Why do I have to have a curfew?"  So naturally I am curious if this grown child will leave the nest in 11 months?  I try not to get too excited, for something tells me she will be 18, and still rummaging in my belongings....